Why Homewrecking in North Carolina Could Cost You Millions

A man or woman scorned may understandably want revenge. And in some states, aggrieved exes can take alleged spouse-stealers to court seeking millions of dollars in damages. 

Some states, including Mississippi, South Dakota, and North Carolina, still allow spouses to bring “alienation of affection,” or “homewrecker,” lawsuits against third parties accused of ending their marriages. To win, the plaintiff must prove that the “accused individual took steps that a reasonable person would expect and did result in the ending of the affectionate marriage between the couple.”

These lawsuits are especially prevalent in North Carolina, where former Sen. Kyrsten Sinema (I–Ariz.) was sued by the ex-wife of Sinema’s security guard in 2025, according to a recent piece in The Wall Street Journal. Sinema “admitted to the affair but disputed many of the specific claims,” the Journal reported. She claims the relationship with the security guard occurred outside of North Carolina and has filed a motion to dismiss the case. 

These lawsuits are more than symbolic revenge tactics. Plaintiffs often seek, and may be awarded, hefty payouts. In Sinema’s case, the plaintiff, Heather Ammel, is seeking over $25,000 in compensatory damages for injuries caused by the former senator’s “willful and wanton conduct.” That’s a small sum compared to some other cases in North Carolina, where there is no limit on compensatory damages. In November, a North Carolina jury ordered a TikTok influencer accused of seducing a woman’s husband to pay $1.75 million in damages. In 2011, another North Carolina woman was ordered to pay $30 million in damages to the ex-wife of a business owner in an alienation of affection suit.  

Alienation of affection suits are distinct from claims of adultery. To establish an alienation of affection claim, plaintiffs do not even have to prove that the accused third party engaged in extramarital sex. In fact, the plaintiff can sue someone who simply encouraged the person to leave or cheat on their spouse. 

There have been efforts to remove these remaining “homewrecker laws.“ Utah will abolish the right of action for alienation of affections in May. In January, New Mexico’s Supreme Court abolished the common law tort, citing its “anachronistic and deeply inequitable roots.” Although both husbands and wives have been able to bring alienation of affection lawsuits in the state, the court noted that the law had “profoundly patriarchal origins” in English common law when “wives were property of their husbands.” The court also said the tort “treats affections as property and presumes that a spouse has no agency regarding to whom they give their affections.”

New Mexico’s Supreme Court was correct in calling these lawsuits “inherently dehumanizing.” While being cheated on may be heartbreaking and humiliating, it is more shameful to treat a spouse’s affections as legal property. These lawsuits also invite the legal system into what would otherwise be interpersonal issues. Money spent on litigation would perhaps be better spent on couples counseling, a rage room session, or a large tub of Ben & Jerry’s.