Trump’s Bumblefuck DOJ Continues Revenge Tour With Semi-Botched Indictment Of James Comey

from the underqualified-and-overpowered dept

Pretty much everyone who was willing to put justice ahead of Trump is long gone from the DOJ, either having been fired or resigning ahead of an expected firing. Trump has stocked the DOJ with incredibly under-qualified loyalists, overseen by the under-qualified loyalist holding the top spot in the Department, AG Pam Bondi.

Bondi has been told to do only what Trump wants her to do, which basically means turning the Department of Justice into the personification of Trump’s politically motivated vengeance. Bondi, like pretty much every Cabinet official, was informed of this via a Truth Social post — one that first looked like it should have been a direct message rather than a blast on main.

Whatever the means, the ends are the same: Trump’s punishment of anyone Democratic/disloyal enough to have earned the always-angry manchild’s ire. Bondi’s DOJ has earned plenty of ire from Trump with its inability to convince grand juries to convict anti-ICE protesters. This time, Trump is going after people who somehow allegedly prevented him from claiming the Oval Office in 2020, despite (in this case) the person in question last holding office in early 2017.

That means it’s James Comey being charged with federal crimes by Trump’s DOJ, more than eight years after the fact. According to the fully compromised DOJ, Comey violated the law by lying to the Senate during testimony given in 2020. The three-count indictment was presented to a grand jury by newly appointed US District Attorney Lindsey Halligan, an insurance lawyer who’s best known for litigating on behalf of Donald Trump in several cases and who apparently has no conflict of interest when representing the United States in Trump’s revenge prosecution of the former FBI director who was fired by Trump after he refused to pledge sole allegiance to the semi-successful property owner now infesting the White House.

Here’s the indictment that was signed by the grand jury, which only forwarded one of the charges for prosecution. The indictment [PDF], signed by DA Halligan, contains three counts and her signature. It also, for reasons Halligan certainly can’t explain, claims two different charges are “Count Two.” (The first is a different form of lying to Congress. The second “Count Two” is an obstruction charge.) Considering the document runs three pages and likely contains fewer than 300 words, it’s inexplicable how this double-heading managed to avoid being corrected before being handed to a grand jury, much less a judge.

But that’s only the beginning of the bad news for Trump’s hand-picked, fully compromised, mostly incompetent US DA for the Eastern District of Virginia. Here’s how the charging presentation hearing went for DA Halligan, as reported by CBS News:

“So this has never happened before. I’ve been handed two documents that are in the Mr. Comey case that are inconsistent with one another,” [Judge Lindsey] Vaala said to Halligan. “There seems to be a discrepancy. They’re both signed by the (grand jury) foreperson.” 

And she noted that one document did not clearly indicate what the grand jury had decided.

“The one that says it’s a failure to concur in an indictment, it doesn’t say with respect to one count,” Vaala said. “It looks like they failed to concur across all three counts, so I’m a little confused as to why I was handed two things with the same case number that are inconsistent.”

Halligan initially responded that she hadn’t seen that version of the indictment.

“So I only reviewed the one with the two counts that our office redrafted when we found out about the two — two counts that were true billed, and I signed that one. I did not see the other one. I don’t know where that came from,” Halligan told the judge.

Yeah, not a great way to make your debut, especially when Trump is heavily breathing down your neck while splashing his revenge fantasies across Truth Social every few hours. If you’re wondering about the bold print, well… that’s not the end of the embarrassment for the new DA. And it’s apparently just the beginning of her inability to lie effectively enough to avoid being unceremoniously shit-canned when this abomination gets laughed out of court once it goes to trial:

Vaala responded, “You didn’t see it?” And Halligan again told her, “I did not see that one.”

Vaala seemed surprised: “So your office didn’t prepare the indictment that they —”

Halligan then replied, “No, no, no — I — no, I prepared three counts. I only signed the one — the two-count (indictment). I don’t know which one with three counts you have in your hands.”

“Okay. It has your signature on it,” Vaala told Halligan, who responded, “Okay. Well.”

“Okay. Well.” Touché… I guess? Halligan fits right in with the Trump administration. It moves fast and breaks things — not because it’s trying to innovate, but because it’s big, brutish, and dangerously stupid. Halligan took a promotion and a case without being qualified to do either thing and showed her entire ass on her first day in federal court as a prosecutor.

The DOJ’s statement is a bit more legible and cleanly edited, but it says almost nothing while using fewer words:

The indictment alleges that Comey obstructed a congressional investigation into the disclosure of sensitive information in violation of 18 USC 1505.

The indictment also alleges that Comey made a false statement in violation of 18 USC 1001. Comey stated that he did not authorize someone at the FBI to be an anonymous source. According to the indictment that statement was false.

This is followed by some dumb stuff about no one being above the law (LOL) from AG Pam Bondi and long, rambling statement from Kash Patel about how federal law enforcement has been “weaponized” to engage in political attacks in the past and that it will definitely not be happening under his watch (however long that lasts with Captain Moody helming the USS United States of America) even as it definitely is happening under what could graciously be referred to as his “watch.”

Meanwhile, the Gray Lady is doing whatever it can to make someone dangerously unqualified to be a regular US District Attorney (much less one completely obliged to be the attack surface for politically motivated prosecutions) feel better about being absolutely as bad at her new job as any reasonable person would expect her to be, given her dearth of relevant experience:

The first few days in any new job are always hard, but Thursday was especially tough for Lindsey Halligan, the newly installed U.S. attorney for the Eastern District of Virginia.

She had to navigate an unfamiliar courthouse, make her first-ever appearance in a criminal case and, on top of all that, indict one of President Trump’s enemies.

Don’t do this. Don’t humanize people who have done nothing but dehumanize a vast majority of the US population, starting with immigrants and continuing on through [checks list] women, anyone who isn’t a member of the GOP, public employees, LGBTQ+ people, non-whites, journalists, judges who rule against the administration, medical professionals, scientists, protesters, former political allies, entire states and their entire governments, victims of natural disasters, college students, teachers… the list gets longer the longer Trump remains in power.

This is what being willing to appease Trump’s desires gets you: a sympathetic pat on the head from a press outfit that should have led off with this, rather than the “you did your best” lead-in it chose to use:

Ms. Halligan, who took over on Monday after her predecessor quit rather than prosecute James B. Comey with what he believed was insufficient evidence, had a little trouble with the first two tasks. At one point, she entered the wrong courtroom. When she found the right one, she stood on the wrong side of the judge, then appeared confused about the paperwork she just had signed.

This is the lede. The stuff above it is unearned empathy. This person would probably be thrilled if the New York Times suddenly ceased to exist, despite it having plenty of experience in its field. A rookie elevated solely for their perceived loyalty should be made to feel every bit of the shame accepting an unearned position should generate. And when you suck during your debut, you should be reminded incessantly that you’re not here because you’re good at your job. You’re here because the president knows you’ll never push back against his demands. You should be made to feel that failure and that willingness to choose sycophancy over any sense of professionalism or personal pride.

I don’t think this prosecution will go anywhere. There’s no one competent enough left in the DOJ to guide this manufactured case against Comey to completion. We’ll at least get to enjoy another round of firings and resignations, which will no doubt be accompanied by randomly capitalized rage on Truth Social. But even if this falls apart, the DOJ has made it clear it’s here to engage in political prosecutions, rather than serve the nation and the ideals of justice. It’s now just another part of the Trump legal team, which will certainly make Lindsey Halligan feel more welcome, but will never turn any of the DOJ’s fully compromised prosecutors into anything more than the rudimentary tools they’ve chosen to be.

Filed Under: doj, donald trump, james comey, lindsey halligan, pam bondi, trump administration