Sting Can Call Himself an Englishman, Court Rules

From Judge Annemarie Carney Axon (N.D. Ala.) yesterday in White v. Google:

Plaintiff … asserts state law claims for slander and libel because each defendant uses the word “Englishman.” … Mr. White alleges he is the only true “Englishman” because he is the only person that truly knows English. [The Complaint actually says, “nose English the right and real way.” -EV] Accordingly, no other person or entity may use the word “Englishman.” Walmart uses the word “Englishman” online because the word is in the title of several products that it sells. Google search results also contain the word. And Mr. Sumner’s [Sting’s] song, “Englishman in New York,” repeats the word several times….

Mr. White’s allegations do not state a claim. His complaint alleges facts divorced from any cause of action, including slander or libel. Other allegations are conclusory. The court therefore WILL GRANT the motions and DISMISS Mr. White’s claims WITH PREJUDICE because any amendment would be futile.