Her Divorce Was Ugly. Crypto Became a Lifeline

People can pay mortgages in many ways, but as a self-described victim of financial abuse once learned in Fort Worth, Texas, a wad of cash carried into a local bank isn’t always a good option.

And that’s regardless of how many payments have been missed or if foreclosure is a risk, a mother named Karin told Decrypt. She asked that her last name not be published due to ongoing legal matters related to her former husband and their four children.

There are anti-money laundering laws to consider when trying to deposit so much money at once, Karin recalled the teller saying. And to her surprise, there was another problem: She hadn’t been listed as an account owner for at least 10 years. Ultimately, she was turned away.

“I was unbanked, which is kind of scary because I’m a middle-class housewife in America,” she said. “It’s kind of like you’re this invisible person.”

As her decades-old marriage gave way to a contentious divorce, Karin said that crypto helped her become financially independent. She felt empowered by a self-custodial wallet, confident that no one else could access what was on it.

At one point during her divorce, court documents show that Karin gained a judge’s approval to use profits from crypto trading to pay for her kids’ tuition expenses. For her, maintaining a familiar environment was important. But that wasn’t until she risked being held in contempt.

Karin said that she was ordered to liquidate Bitcoin and Ethereum that she had squirreled away from an account at a centralized exchange, so it could be divided fairly. But she refused, arguing the funds were a lifeline. Eventually, the opposing counsel and the judge came around to the idea that anyone could verify if the crypto was moved using a block explorer, Karin said. 

Karin had to teach her own attorneys, the opposing counsel, and the judge how to use a blockchain explorer to verify that funds hadn’t moved.

“I remember thinking, ‘At least I have something,’” she said. “The fact that there were private keys, and only I had the keys, gave me that ability to be so bold and stand up for myself.”

Karin said her marriage paralleled traditional gender roles, in which her husband was primarily responsible for managing credit cards and bank accounts. As that relationship frayed, she found herself in dire straits with little to fall back on.

When she left her former husband, her credit cards were maxed out—leaving her with only $56 in available credit. Traditional identity-linked systems like car rentals and hotels refused her because she lacked a valid credit card. Meanwhile, she had others “front” the costs with their credit cards, promising to pay them back directly in stablecoins.

Karin acknowledged that crypto has become male-dominated over time, but she argued that it can serve as a vital tool for marginalized groups precisely because the technology “doesn’t judge” based on gender or age. She recalled receiving advice from pseudonymous personas that she met through Crypto Twitter, who seemed sympathetic to her situation.

“It wasn’t about all the riches you see right on Twitter and on TV,” she said. “It was literally safety and stability for my kids.”

Enabling women to hold digital assets directly, and be treated as the sole beneficiary of funds, has shown an ability to affect longstanding social dynamics for marginalized groups, according to Paul Wong, director of special projects at the Stellar Development Fund, or SDF.

That was the case with an aid distribution system in Ukraine, which SDF developed in collaboration with a United Nations agency dedicated to refugees, he told Decrypt in December.

“That risk of physical threat is much lower,” Wong said. “When you distribute universal basic income to a woman, it’s not going to some joint account where, historically, a man has used it for purposes other than the family.”

Karin has worked with the National Cryptocurrency Association, or NCA, a nonprofit organization dedicated to helping Americans understand and use crypto. Ripple, the XRP-linked fintech, founded the organization and funded it with a two-year $50 million grant.

Instead of promoting a get-rich-quick mentality often ascribed to crypto, the organization seeks to capture how a variety of Americans use crypto in a practical way.

“The thing that really makes my skin crawl is any jargon that suggests that this is an industry and a technology only for crypto bros,” NCA President and Ripple Chief Legal Officer Stu Alderoty told Decrypt. “There is a lot—anything from FOMO to ‘Wen Lambo?'”

The NCA has sought to portray practical crypto users, from artists to cattle ranchers. They’ve categorized Karin as a trader, but she may yet still add another description.

Over 20 years ago, Karin’s ex-husband gave her an ultimatum to choose between marriage and law school; she chose marriage. Following her experience with the legal system, Karin said she has been accepted to law school and is starting this fall.