DHS Takes Out Its Funding Frustrations On Millions Of Americans By Sending ICE Agents To Do TSA Work

from the america:-never-greater dept

With the partial shutdown still ongoing and no budget resolution in sight because the GOP is simply unwilling to endure any oversight of its anti-migrant programs, the TSA is leaking personnel. A whole lot of TSA agents walked off the job the moment their paychecks failed to arrive, leaving travelers to deal with scenarios that are somehow even worse than being manhandled by the TSA.

Folks, it’s yet another Long National Nightmare!

Yep, that’s the Atlanta airport, which has never been known for expeditious service, filled to the horizon with unhappy people that bears more than a slight resemblance to USSR grocery store photos from the mid-70s. (Making the resemblance even more uncanny is the amount of visible food.)

Well, the TSA may be temporarily out of money, but guess who isn’t! I’ll leave it to Dr. America to deliver the news — a cure that’s worse than the disease!

President Donald Trump on Saturday threatened to send federal immigration agents to airports across the country on Monday if Democrats don’t agree to end the Department of Homeland Security shutdown, now approaching five weeks.

“If the Radical Left Democrats don’t immediately sign an agreement to let our Country, in particular, our Airports, be FREE and SAFE again, I will move our brilliant and patriotic ICE Agents to the Airports where they will do Security like no one has ever seen before, including the immediate arrest of all Illegal Immigrants who have come into our Country,” he wrote.

I totally believe ICE will “do Security like no one has ever seen before.” I mean, they’ve already been doing civil enforcement like no one has ever seen before. And what better way to handle a travel crisis then by sending in a bunch of under-trained racists who just spent their ICE signing bonuses on emissions defeat devices and wraparound sunglasses subscription services to our nation’s airports, where they can apply all the skills they never learned during ICE training with the professionalism we’ve come to expect from people who like yelling and brandishing firearms.

What could possibly go wrong? I mean, they’re already not trained to do the job they’re supposed to be doing, so doing a job they’ve never been trained to do can’t be that much of step up on the “promoted to highest level of your incompetence” scale.

Of course, that was just Trump saying some shit on social media because he apparently has nothing better to do with his time now that he’s (again) the Leader of the Free World. Trump says a lot of stuff. He quite frequently says the opposite thing only hours or minutes or seconds later.

It brings me no pleasure to report that this horrendous brain fart will apparently be A Real Thing:

Immigration agents will deploy to airports on Monday under the direction of border czar Tom Homan, President Donald Trump said Sunday, as talks to fund the Department of Homeland Security have yet to yield a breakthrough.

[…]

Homan told CNN on Sunday that the move is about “helping TSA do their mission and get the American public through that airport as quick as they can while adhering to all the security guidelines and the protocols.”

Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh. If you don’t need to travel, then maybe don’t? Sending a bunch of over-funded, under-trained, trigger-happy federal officers into crowded airports is a recipe for disaster. And even Homan doesn’t seem to know what ICE will be doing to actually help expedite passenger screening — not when he’s promising they won’t be doing anything they’re not trained to do.

“We’re simply there to help TSA do their job in areas that don’t need their specialized expertise, such as screening through the X-ray machine. Not trained in that? We won’t do that,” Homan told CNN’s Dana Bash on “State of the Union.”

“But there are roles we can play to release TSA officers from the non-significant roles, such as guarding an exit so they can get back to the scanning machines and move people quicker,” he added.

“Guarding an exit?” What the hell does that even mean? TSA agents don’t “guard exits.” No one “guards exits.” Travelers and terrorists alike are interested in boarding planes. They’re not interested in exiting airports to, I don’t know, wander around the tarmac or wonder how the hell exactly they ended up on the outside of a building they 100% intended to remain on the inside of.

This is going to end up being a case of Your Tax Dollars Trying To Look Busy. And that’s the best case scenario. The worst case scenarios begin directly after that. And I don’t think travelers are going to feel any safer or more secure when there are a bunch of twitchy, camouflaged dudes in masks wandering around like they’re about ready to raid Entebbe, rather than just looking for an exit to guard.

We’re in the midst of pretty hellish times. This… this just seems like we’re being trolled by a Higher Power that’s decided to amuse itself while the rest of the world falls apart.

Filed Under: cruelty is the point, dhs, ice, tom homan, tsa